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I guess I never outgrew the ‘question-asking’ phase most curious toddlers go through. When I was five I was asking enlightened questions of my teddy bears all the while studying Barbara Walters on our undersized black and white TV, vowing I’d depose her one day. After all, questions like ‘What’s it like being green?’ and ‘Do you envy Winnie the Pooh’s merchandising prospects?’ were certainly more riveting than ‘If you were a tree….’

I’ve tried inserting my “Cali questions” -- as they’ve been coined by friends over the years --  into interviews I’ve conducted with presidential candidates, celebrities, renowned musicians, and ‘real people’ subjects for shows I’ve worked on. The mainstream TV agendas, though, have made that tough. I recall a moment with a famous actress many years ago. It was the end of a long day of press interviews and I asked a whimsical question about what she’d want waiting for her if she were to open a treasure chest. It was a theme prompted by the film, and she seemed genuinely pleased to be taken off the rote track. She thanked me. That exchange was the exception. And my question lists have grown.

This is where you come in. I ponder this stuff often. The 'whys' and 'hows' didn't melt away with my 6th birthday ice cream cake. On some days the answers seem clear, while other days they elude me.

A few times each month, I will pose a new query. If you’re inspired, please share an anecdote, a lesson, a secret, a thought. Break out a missive from your journal. Get your friends involved. Read others' replies. This is about communal curiosity in all its cyber anonymous glory!

                                      Cali’sQuestionCafe: Listen more, talk less. Attention span required. 
                                                               Maybe we can collectively find some answers….

          CHECK OUT: www.hangproud.com                       www.calialpert.com                           

Posted by cali at 7/4/2010 1:52 PM | View Comments (5) | Add Comment

QUESTION #16 - July 4, 2010

For the last five weeks, I have been blissfully roaming around the Pacific Northwest during a seasonal work hiatus. I fell in love with the area while working here last year for a few months and wanted to expand my radius. It’s been such a luxury being on my own schedule amidst stunning beauty -- floating timelessly through the days, discovering special places, meeting new people, and seeing old friends.

It’s also been very self-indulgent. So much so that I’ve refrained from talking about it too much or gloating too readily on the Granddaddy of Self-Indulgence: Facebook.

Indulgent why?  Because I’ve been able to sate (most of) my major ‘food groups’ -- nature, hiking, biking, travel, intriguing conversation, and plenty of local wine and culinary delights – on a daily basis.  I had a moment the other day where I envisioned myself in proper toga regalia to aptly suit my little moveable bacchanal. I feel like a character from “Eat, Pray, Love”, without the divorce.

All this said, I’d like to think I’m not that shallow and that gout is not my final destination. I write about it here because I was thinking that while I have drained my pockets on all these momentary, perishable delights, I have not spent one penny on anything permanent. No souvenirs, no gifts, no airport magnets. Only experiences, be it bike rentals, unmatched flower-infused cocktails, whale-watching fees and freshly caught coho salmon.

So I ask you, QUESTION #16: WHAT SPLURGE BRINGS YOU THE MOST GLEE? DO YOU PREFER AN EXPERIENCE THAT VAPORIZES BUT IMPRINTS ITSELF IN YOUR MIND? OR AN OBJECT THAT HAS SHELF LIFE FOR YEARS TO COME?

(I'm not fishing for confessions of materialism. This is about the distinction between fleeting and permanent. Abstract and tangible.) 

Posted by cali at 7/4/2010 1:50 PM | View Comments (13) | Add Comment

QUESTION #15 - May 8, 2010

QUESTION #15 -- May 8, 2010

A few weeks ago, I was sitting at one of my regular spots up in an old river town along the Hudson River about an hour north of my home. I had my glass of pinot noir, a delicious book, the comfort of strangers and my solitude all in one shot. I was blissed out. A woman two bar stools away leaned across and told me I looked like the picture of contentment -- she was right -- and that she wished she could take my picture for her friend, a recent divorcee who was terrified of her own company, despite this friend's constant encouragement to take herself on the occasional outing.

I come from a family where we are equal parts social butterfly and loner. Either preference can strike on any given day, and rarely is there middle ground where any of us would try to fill up alone time with anyone we don't REALLY want to be with just so the space is occupied.  I have some of my loudest laughs and best dances flying solo. I can also burn the candle on a school night in great company like the best of em.

So I pose to you QUESTION #15: ARE YOU A FAN OF YOUR OWN COMPANY? IF SO, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SOLO ACTIVITY? AND IF NOT, WHAT DO YOU ASPIRE TO DO ON YOUR OWN THAT YOU'VE YET TO?

Posted by cali at 5/8/2010 9:43 PM | View Comments (12) | Add Comment

QUESTION #14 - AUGUST 10, 2009

It was a savory new gig that sped up my departure from the Pacific Northwest ... and delivered me back to the concrete jungle of New York City. I left with a heavy heart and the confirmation of what I've always known: that I'm meant to live in that part of the country down the road.

But for now duty beckons, a priority that was affirmed this morning when none other than the Big O, (and I don't mean that other one, a close second) Ms. Oprah Winfrey, walked into my office and said a brief hello to all us eager employees of her latest endeavor. Her upstanding use of a typically muddied medium is the reason I still do what I do. Today I was reminded I've got a little juice left. Which brings me to pose...

QUESTION #14:  WHAT IS YOUR BIG DREAM AND DO YOU TAKE ACTION EVERYDAY TO MANIFEST IT?

Posted by cali at 8/9/2009 3:44 PM | View Comments (3) | Add Comment

QUESTION #13--March 25, 2009

I've recently relocated to Portland, Oregon for a short term job and a new adventure. It's been interesting, challenging and satisfying to stretch some new muscles and leave my east coast complacency behind. It leads me to my next query with....

QUESTION #13--WHAT IS YOUR MOST RECENT OR UPCOMING EXAMPLE OF EXERCISING SOME PARTS OF YOU THAT HAVEN'T BEEN TESTED IN A WHILE?  WHAT SCARES YOU ABOUT IT AND WHAT EXCITES YOU?

Posted by cali at 3/25/2009 11:01 PM | View Comments (8) | Add Comment

QUESTION #12--December 16, 2008

Feeling a little bit of the collective malaise? Worried about the future, the state of your finances, how you're going to land a job after being unexpectedly laid off? You are not alone. As the expense of sounding like a Pollyanna, I'd like to think once we weather this societal earthquake, which I believe we will, that an exciting, clean canvas awaits us where we will create a new kind of lifestyle devoid of
all the ugliness that landed us here in the first place.

In the meantime, our health, families and friends take on more sacred proportions than usual. So I ask you to 'kvell' (one of my favorite Yiddish words) in ....

QUESTION #12--WHO DO YOU COUNT ON MOST TO MAKE YOU SMILE THESE DAYS, AND WHY?

Posted by cali at 12/16/2008 6:54 PM | View Comments (8) | Add Comment

QUESTION #11-- October 22, 2008

Well, we're back, just in time to don our Sarah Palin costumes and enjoy the last of our pumpkin carving parties.
The other inspiration for reviving our questions and queries is an amazing documentary I saw last night called "What About Me?"--a superb multi-media artpiece melding some of the globe's most beloved musicians with people of all cultures speaking to life's big questions. I HIGHLY recommend it.
So here's a nice light one to get us back on track that's eaten up a good part of my headspace on more than one occasion....

QUESTION #11--WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PURPOSE, AND HOW MUCH -- IF AT ALL -- DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT?

Posted by cali at 10/20/2008 9:28 AM | View Comments (7) | Add Comment

QUESTION #10 -- June 1, 2008

I'm going to refrain from using my sorry looking flowers and rose bushes as a metaphor for what I've planted this year, and answer the last query by saying the big seed I'm trying to cultivate is thinking less and acting more. I've become very good over the years at looking more at the purpose and meaning behind things, sometimes at the expense of simply diving into the moments.

Yesterday I was blown away by a new documentary I saw called 'Tibet Beyond Fear'. Do what you can to see it. I was riveted, moved and educated. It juxtaposes the stories of a Tibetan monk and nun who both suffered incomprehensible atrocities in the name of trying to advocate and exercise their religious/cultural rights. When they finally made their way to freedom and the western world they recognized that 'we' were not happy, while they were intent on fighting their demons and hatred of the Chinese in the name of living forgiving, compassionate, happy lives. They have succeeded in that quest.

And so...QUESTION #10 -- WHAT 3 THINGS MAKE YOU MOST HAPPY AND HOW OFTEN DO YOU MAKE TIME FOR THEM IN YOUR DAILY LIVES?

Posted by cali at 6/1/2008 8:13 AM | View Comments (5) | Add Comment

QUESTION #9 -- May 7, 2008

So would I be the same animal if my mama's womb had landed in Wichita? I'd have to say that I'd probably be influenced by my surroundings outwardly, to the degree that they'd be such a contrast to what was percolating inside of me -- that being the dna that formed my core.. My surroundings might've shaped my behaviors and protocols and the surface of my dreams until I was old enough to honor all the bits of me that needed fortifying from a northern coastal city. Then I would've probably ended up where I am. As my buddy Robert Plant once wrote: 'though the course may change sometimes, rivers always reach the sea.'

Springtime has sprung...the birds and the bees are sipping mint julips and my green thumb is being tested. So I ask you all:

QUESTION #9 -- WHAT IS THE ONE SEED YOU'D LIKE TO PLANT THIS SEASON  FOR YOUR OWN PERSONAL GROWTH?

Posted by cali at 5/7/2008 10:50 AM | View Comments (4) | Add Comment

QUESTION #8 -- April 20, 2008

I think I stumped myself with the last question because I'm not sure I can recall a time when I wasn't into 'digging deep' myself. Frankly I've always been less comfortable with small talk. Not that I'm beyond plenty of carousing, sillly humor and playful laughter. But I'm also trying to learn that oftentimes the situation and the company call for way lighter conversation. That's a muscle that needs exercising.

And now for something totally different...

In my frequent travels around the country I'm constantly reminded how unique our little island of Manhattan is -- an accepting, diverse, cornucopia of personalites, politics, lifestyles, ethnicity and choices. I feel so grateful that I grew up with NYC as my backyard. Then I pop into a small rural town and wonder what I'd be like if I'd been born there. Would I have 5 kids, full-time housewife status, no exposure to racial or political diversity, never to walk beyond my town limits? Or would I just be a lonely oddball dreaming of a different way of life?

QUESTION #8 -- WHAT LIFE WOULD YOU BE LIVING IF YOU HAD LANDED IN A PLACE COMPLETELY OPPOSITE FROM WHERE YOU GREW UP? DOES OUR DNA DICTATE WHO WE BECOME REGARDLESS OF WHERE WE LAND OR DOES THE PLACE MAKE THE MAN?

Posted by cali at 4/20/2008 10:32 AM | View Comments (5) | Add Comment
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