QUESTION #13--March 25, 2009
I've recently relocated to Portland, Oregon for a short term job and a new adventure. It's been interesting, challenging and satisfying to stretch some new muscles and leave my east coast complacency behind. It leads me to my next query with....
QUESTION #13--WHAT IS YOUR MOST RECENT OR UPCOMING EXAMPLE OF EXERCISING SOME PARTS OF YOU THAT HAVEN'T BEEN TESTED IN A WHILE? WHAT SCARES YOU ABOUT IT AND WHAT EXCITES YOU?
QUESTION #13--WHAT IS YOUR MOST RECENT OR UPCOMING EXAMPLE OF EXERCISING SOME PARTS OF YOU THAT HAVEN'T BEEN TESTED IN A WHILE? WHAT SCARES YOU ABOUT IT AND WHAT EXCITES YOU?
The first thing that comes to mind is practicing my version of frugality. In the current economy and the unknowns ahead, I have become a bit more conscious of the dollars that go out. Again...relevant to my current status. This actually doesn't scare me as much as it excites me. I like the idea of being more thoughtful about what I am spending on, whether it be one less of something at the supermarket or even clipping a coupon here and there, eating dinner at home mostly, even if enjoying a can of Sardines (yes I LOVE Sardines!). Saving money excites much more than spending it--especially thoughtlessly on things I just don't need.I think this awareness also renews a sense of humility which is in need of restoration in our country anyway.
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MY HUSBAND OF 18 YEARS PASSED AWAY 1 YEAR AGO THIS MONTH. MY CHALLENGE HAS BEEN AND STILL IS FINDING OUT WHO I AM. WHAT EXCITES ME IS REALIZING THAT I HAVE ALL THIS POWER. I DON'T HAVE TO CONSULT WITH ANYONE. NO MORE COMPROMISING. TRYING TO IDENTIFY WHAT I REALLY WANT AND NEED. AND KNOWING THAT I DON'T HAVE TO FIND THIS ALL OUT RIGHT NOW. THAT IT MAY TAKE YEARS.
MY FEARS ARE THAT I NOW HAVE TO SHOULDER THE RESPONSIBILITIES, THE DECISIONS AND CONSEQUENCES ALONE.
BUT LIFE IS GOOD AND I HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE. I'VE NEVER NEEDED MUCH TO MAKE ME HAPPY. SOMETIMES JUST THE RIGHT SONG FOR THE DAY WILL DO IT.
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I recently had to go back to work at age 56 after having been self-employed and financially stable for the previous 18 years. The terror I felt at having to integrate with new people, and to take orders from folks younger than me, was cowing. But I've grown from it and have a new faith in my ability to adapt to fluid situations.
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Holy Carp! What timing this question has! The last 3 months have been all about this question and exercising parts of me that have been tested and failing miserably and others that have been tested and to my surprise beating every expectation!
The first being my job. I switched from a manager position to work one on one again with clients also switching from the private sector to government/public servant. I have had to go back to being chained to a desk all day, no vacation for a very long time and crappy benefits (my union isn't very great) oh and having to be part of a union when I detest unions. Also, my degree is not respected, my 10 years of experience prior is not respected and pretty much I have to do whatever I'm told until I'm done with probabtion. (a year from now about) I now know why I would never make it in the military. In this position I've had to exercise keeping my mouth closed, not speaking up when I feel like it. Not bucking the system and admitting which has been the hardest that I made one of the BIGGEST mistakes I've made in a long time career wise. So, with recognizing this and trying to gather all that I can learn from my mistake and to not make those around me miserable I look for my dream job. The one that I'm passionate about the one that when I get up in the morning on the first day of the 5th year excites me just as much as getting up for the very FIRST day. Luckily, I'm in the interview process for just this position. So what did I learn from my mistake? that maybe this was meant for me to do because maybe I'm not meant to sell out and do what I truly have a passion for. And honestly, this position that I'm interviewing for if it weren't for my drive to seek out what truly makes me happy in a career because of being so unhappy in this one. I probably would've overlooked the position for there was no salary posted, the agency is very grassroots etc. Things that I didn't look for when I looked for when I took this position because when I looked for my current position, I took the easy way out looking for the big ticket, the easy way the easy route. My I have seen what happens when we truly move away from what's good to feed the greedy being inside. The other that has tested me is my new engagement which entails a move to OC and something that I'm still amazed everyday that I'm in this relationship. This is something that I decided to once and for all to open myself and my heart to all possibilities and it wasn't until I did this (oh and it tested me and exercised and exercises things in me that I didn't know existed) that I was able to embrace the love of this special man and give it back. Fear has always kept me from succeding in relationships and at times I still get fearful however I put trust and faith before me for if I give in to my fear I know I will lose the best thing in my life. In a nutshell I have exercised much change in my life and I can only say it is really starting to pay off!
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That would be my fingers using the keyboard to type you hello. What frightens me is the fact I postponed that for so long, being too caught up in work and things in live that are not relevant, if you look at it carefully. What excites me is that it opens both old and new doors and at the same time it relieves me from a little guilt.
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Cali, hope Oregon is treating you well!
What great timing for a great question...change seems to be the resonant theme both internally and externally with most of us!
Let me just say that I fully admit to not studying for most of my educational years....I cheated or crammed or prayed that I'd pass by sheer luck...I never developed discipline to learn material, absorb it and be able to use it!
Because of a quiet wave with my own business, I was fortunate to get a job as an account exec with my own health insurance company! But there was a hitch...I had to take an accelerated insurance class, pass the exam and also pass the state exam! What!!! NOT ONE BUT TWO EXAMS TO STUDY FOR? "You gotta be kiddin' me", I thought to myself, "I've never really studied in my life!"
I'm a Taurus, and my comfort zone is small, so I wasn't thrilled with having to wear a tie after all these years of working from home in my jeans...
But I knew I had to be the hero I was waiting for...
I decided I was going to try and get comfortable with being uncomfortable... I prayed for the willingness to be willing, showed up for that class from 9 to 5, paid attention to every word I could hear from my great teacher Bob...and I studied...and studied...and studied...and lo and behold, I passed both exams!
And now I'm a fully licensed NY state health insurance agent, and I'm damn proud of my accomplishment!
Is it my life long destiny, probably not...but I'm helping people save lots of money of their health insurance without compromising on their benefits...
I'm also not only a rep but I'm also a client!
Thanks for the great blog and question Cali!
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Several years ago, maybe 4, I was training for my 4th marathon and developed an overuse injury in my foot which prevented me from running and on some days walking. Not wanting to admit defeat I saddled the mountain bike and tried to pick up the slack that way. To my chagrin I began popping a tire or busting a chain on nearly every ride. Channeling my dormant yoga practice I tried to listen to the message that the universe was trying to send me. It was, I believe the following: Stop trying to escape from your troubles by running and biking them away. They don't go anywhere. They just await your return. I was forced to begin using my brain and conscious being to address the situation I was so desperately trying escape through excercise. While painful at some points and overwhelming in others it was an extremely important lesson. Several years have passed and I find myself not nearly as in shape as I was during that time. However I found that being forced to think and meditate and just sit with myself was quite rewarding. Because I was always able to muscle and macho my way through life's adversities I never had to do this before. What I learned about myself was that I was able to navigate my way through a very tough period in my life and emerge on the other side stronger and wiser. I also learned that I didn't crater like I thought I would or was predisposed to do based on family history. Now if I can just get back to that level of fitness I will be fierce.
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Hey girl1 Hope Oregon is treating you well. I loved Portland when I was there a few years back. Great question! For me it's been a few things...Out of my comfort zone of the East, here in Michigan for 8 months. Taking TaiChi and Kung Fu has been an enlightening experience as these Martial Arts are surrounded in Meditation and self exploration as you learn these art forms. These literally kept me sane while I was here and I have been "learning," as this is still a work in progress, how to be more patient with myself first and foremost, and with others which is slowly evolving. Never my strong point I might add. So it is a new approach to how one deals with everything. Like I said, I'm not sure that I'm totally successful at this point but it is a journey.
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